• This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

6 ways to deal with Haters, Critics and Judgmental people

I spent last week in bed with the flu. When you have a blocked nose, sore back and joints you realise what you take for granted. Just being able to breathe and move painlessly and freely is a blessing!

The accumulation of anxious, stress and high expectation had hit me and bowled me over. It started at the first rehearsal for the Lea Salonga concert is which is to be held on Friday 31st of July 2015 at the Sydney Town Hall. The director said to the whole cast, “You know there’s been talk of people in the community wondering why amateur performers have been chosen to be the support act for international star Lea Salonga.”

“Some people are not liking the choices made.”

Some even taking to facebook asking why would people pay $150 to watch a bunch of amateurs, even boasting “Looks like I have stirred something in the Filipino-Australian community.”

Others commented back, defending the choices made saying, “they are the quiet achievers in the community.”

I started to feel every cell in my body deflate.

I had so much doubt in my mind- what if they are right? Am I kidding myself? Am I deserving of this opportunity?

Yes, me! Someone who has had 20 years experience as a professional singer and Vocal Teacher.

Let’s face it, there are so many amazing Filipino- Australian singers in the community, some well known in the community, some waiting to be discovered, some quietly working their butt off studying their craft, slowly planting the seeds.

How lucky are we to have the opportunity to watch them grow!

So before you use the term amateur with a negative connotation, think about this:

Of course while studying at school (because that’s where children are supposed to be at during the day) they study and work on the craft after school, attending singing lessons, dance lessons, choir practices or rehearsing for upcoming shows.

  • Some are part of organisations that perform for corporate gigs, concerts and big events in Sydney.
  • Some have worked and sung on stage together with international acts like Charice and David Pomeranz (who has graciously mentored some of these kids and myself)
  • Some gracing the stage of amateur community productions as the leading ladies (which normally are filled with professional musicians, and singers who just want to give back to the community or are waiting for the next professional show to start back in town)
  • Some kids have even represented Australia in major singing competitions overseas.
  • Two will be creating their first album of original songs and one of them will be working with producers who have worked with Jessica Malbouy, this particular student had also graduated with honours at Newtown performing arts school and is now studying music full time.
  • One has been a recording artist in the Philippines.
  • One has performed for a function in front of the Australian Prime Minister.
  • Some performed in Disneyland, Universal studios, and major theme parks in LA and have sung and performed down Hollywood Boulevard, part of the Hollywood Christmas Parade.

Before Marlisa was “Marlisa” winner of X-factor, I remember preparing her and a bunch of other talented kids to be a support act for one of the biggest stars in the Philippines- Sharon Cuneta.

When will you embrace their gifts? When they make it on reality TV?

Who’s to say you are not special NOW. 

These kids are gems, being polished and nurtured over time. Without opportunities like this they will not flourish…you will not see their greatness, they will not be able to shine and showcase how special they are.

So before you judge; please take a look at yourself.

What have you done or what are you doing to follow your dreams?

If you are following your dreams! Great. So you know how hard it is when people around you say, “You can’t!” You are always the first one to defy them and show them what you are made of.

Don’t dampen the dreams of kids who only see the good, who only want to sing because it makes them feel alive.

This event is a celebration of song and expression.

A celebration of what Lea represents to the Filipino community all around the world, especially to the young.

Hope! That’s what she represents.  The hope that if you work hard and never lose sight of your dreams, you can make things happen.

Lea is someone I looked up to and have admired since the age of 7. She inspired me to call my School “ONE VOICE.”

One voice can change the world…Lea’s voice changed my world, it created a ripple affect that has reached our shores and what an incredible impact she has in our children’s lives, especially my students.

11041128_10152998983573263_4958329039271917420_n

So no matter if you are a budding or professional performer don’t let anyone bring you down! Keep believing! Be heard! 

Here are 6 ways to deal with the “Haters” or “Judgmental” people:

  1. First of all forgive them- Sometimes they haven’t really thought about their negative comments and the effect it can have, some just have no idea what it’s all about and not really thinking about the bigger picture.

 

  1. Don’t dwell on what you cannot control. Thoughts can consume you and the worry and stress is wasted energy. Focus on what you need to get done and the finer details so you can crush your goals and make your performances even better.

 

  1. If there is some truth to what they say, then use it to “Fuel your Fear” a term I got from author Kassandra Bibas. Work extra harder during the rehearsals and take it constructively. Be the best you can be! This quote was a golden nugget after a chat with performance coach Ed Tseng – “Fear and insecurity are just memory and imagination ~Michael Neill”

 

  1. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you in an honest and genuine way. Talk to a coach, a mastermind group or someone that can give you strategies to overcome any negative thinking.

 

  1. List down all the amazing and wonderful things you have already achieved. My cousin Remy shared this with me: “Let go, or be dragged.” ~Zen proverb.
11754482_10205859820549542_1041468199847031786_o (1)

 

  1. Be grateful that you have been chosen to be part of something bigger than yourself. Life coach Heidi Howes mentioned to “Look outwards rather than inwards.”

 

I hope this helps you overcome any stress caused by negative energy. A big thank you to the people who helped me get through the past few weeks: Andrew Baris, Ed Tseng, Heidi Howes, Sharon, my mastermind group – Kassandra, Phil and Keri and especially Rob and Christian.

How do you deal with haters and judgmental people?

Tell us in the comments below. It might just help someone else.

 

If you found this to be helpful please like, comment and share this post.

 

Lea Salonga will be on our TV screens here in Australia on the Today show, Wednesday 29th of July 2015. Channel 9. Watch between 6am-9am.

There are a few tickets left for Lea Salonga Tickets this coming Friday the 31st of July 2015, Sydney Town Hall.

I hope to see you there and if you see a support artist in the crowd the night of the concert, please give them a word of encouragement; it will make a world of difference.

If you would like to listen to some of my inspirational musical guest please subscribe to my new podcast on iTunes “One Voice can change the world.”

Email me at tina [at] tinabangel [dot] com if you need to chat or any help vocally.

 

Musically yours

Tina

21 Responses to “6 ways to deal with Haters, Critics and Judgmental people”

  1. Great post Tina. People's negative comments say way more about their own insecurities than those they target. If people are taking the time to criticise you, then I always think it means you must be doing something worth talking about, creating some kind of stir - and that's what art and music is meant to do. You can't please everyone - that would mean you're being too vanilla.
    Reply
  2. Imelda Chit Serra
    Awesome my dear Tina! I couldn't have said it better.... FYI of everyone, the producer of Lea Salonga Sydney concert Carolyn Manaloto of Oz-Pinoy (and the just concluded Brisbane concert) was the very first producer who got the talented Marlisa at a very young age to be one of the front/supporting acts of Jose Mari Chan. To add, even sang a duet with him too.
    Reply
    • Thanks Tita Chit! Yes, if it weren't for Carol these opportunities would have not come to many of the kids. She has helped me so much over the years and I am forever grateful.
      Reply
  3. You have perfectly articulated so many great, inspirational points and turned a negative situation into a hugely positive one! Very well said! I hope you're fully recovered from your bug and have an amazing time with the show!!!
    Reply
  4. Great tips! I think we just need to have faith that what we are doing is right for us, and to just keep at it! Great post :)
    Reply
  5. Great advice! I once made myself write 100 things I liked about myself to refer to when I have haters saying stuff and I feel crap.
    Reply
    • Kylie! That's wonderful. Someone gave me that advice once and said to place it in a jar...when ever you feel down just grab a note! Instant feel good moment.
      Reply
  6. Great advice there, Tina. Everyone is subject to negativity or bullying at some stage and we need tools in place to deal with them.
    Reply
  7. Really great post it helped me very much. I was trying to make a channel on youtube but I was afraid of the haters, I'll try to follow your tips and maybe one day you will see me on tv ahah just kidding p.s.: I'm portuguese so if there's any errors I'm sorrry
    Reply
    • You go girl! When you do make the cover please tag me - I would love to see it xx my twitter handle is @TinaBangel or email me!
      Reply
  8. Jinky Marsh
    Thank you so much Tina for everything. You are truly an inspiring and beautiful person. Stay well and blessed. xoxo
    Reply
  9. I think number one is my go to. I've often found that people who criticize tend to do so from a place of their own fear. Fear that they've made the wrong choices or that your choice might be a judgement of their choices. When I just lean into loving them, it might not change their mind or stop the negativity but it completely changes my experience of their negativity. Love what you're doing and hope the concert is completely excellent (I'm sure it will be!)
    Reply
  10. Great advice, Tina! There will always be haters but we just have to rise above them and ignore the pointless negative banter. Thanks for sharing. Siobhan x
    Reply
  11. What a great post. I absolutely agree with everything you've said here - especially the importance of not passing judgement on others. I think it's something we all need to be mindful of.
    Reply

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)

%d bloggers like this: